5 Star Wellbeing Podcast
5 Star Wellbeing Podcast
Rachel Awes - why it is so important to pay attention and find your joy
Rachel is a psychologist and illustrated self-help author. She is also an art playgroundist and clothing ambassador, who loves listening to the beauty in people to help them notice their true selves and find their joy.
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Music by Ian Hildebrand
All right. Welcome, everybody. Welcome back to another wonderful episode. And I'm delighted today to have Rachel Awes as my guest. Rachel is a psychologist and illustrated self help author, and art playgroundist. And yes, I will be asking her what that is a closing clothing ambassador who loves listening to the beauty in people. Rachel has her newest book, The relationship book, a soulful, transformational and artistic inventory of your connective life, releasing just next month in early November. So that's really only a few weeks away, Rachel. So I'd love to start Rachel just with a bit about you about your background and kind of like to get people to tell us the story of how they got to be where they are now doing what they're doing now.
Rachel Awes:Yes. All right. Well, I would love to talk about that. I think that my background, I'll say it quickly is, as a child, the child of me knew just what to do and how to be the child of me knew she loved being near people, and just being like kind and listening and drawing and writing all these things and loved colorful clothing. And that's exactly how I've turned out. I mean, and I don't mean to say when I say kind because I heard myself say that, like, you know, I you know, I have all my crappiness at times, and all the things that we right that we all feel. But I do love people and I care deeply about how people are doing. And so, being a psychologist felt like such a natural thing to go into. And now I've been a psychologist for almost 30 years. And in my I'm now 56. But in my early 40s, I really circled back also to bringing back in the writing and the art making of my youth and have continued to do that in book form primarily. And my love of clothing and creative expression. And colorfully so has also really picked up during this season of my life as well. So the child in me is quite happy with me. And so those, I would think those would be the main things.
Arwen Bardsley:So I love that and just coming from the position of I love to work with the seven chakras, which I don't know if you're familiar with that. You know, that decade of, you know, kind of 41 to 51 is our phase of being in the throat chakra. That's the truth. So, you know, you've really blossomed into your truth phase you are, you know, shining forth your truth from your heart. Through that, that throat phase of, you know, just being you I love it. That's wonderful!
Rachel Awes:thank you and I love the chakras coincide with colors too.
Arwen Bardsley:Yeah, well, of course, of course, you're up with them. So did you have a period? You know, I don't know, maybe from your 20s to your 40s where some of that was a bit more shut down a bit more gray, less colorful?
Rachel Awes:Yeah. And so I would say 20s 30s was about for me. Just getting into my career as a psychologist and, and figuring out, okay, beyond schooling, okay, how do I do this? You know, it's like, when people first learn things, you're a little more into the rules, how do you tie a tie? So you're thinking of the distinct steps of doing that, and making sure you've got the foundation of what you're doing kind of established and settled. I think I was establishing and settling just the foundations, and, and, you know, starting a family, so just the foundation of my life in that way too. And then I think at some point, we can No, I think that it was honestly, in my early 40s I had which is all fine. It was great. Actually, I had a hysterectomy. And you know, I was done having children it went well and fine and healthy. And someone asked me in the place of your uterus, what would you like there? And I said my creative life to blossom now. And it has, and it's happened in kind of small, wonderful steps. Anything from a pair of eyeglass frames that I would pick out I remember being in a department store, you know, when you pick out eyeglass frames, you go really close to the mirror to check out, you know, from frame to frame. And I remember I put on these purple and green pair of frames, and I would just giggle in the mirror and then say okay, and then I'd put on more reasonable frames, I'd be like, okay, that sure looks good on my face. That's it, and then I try on the green purple ones again, and then I couldn't stop giggling, Arwen. And then, so then I said, I am not going to argue with my joy. Okay, and that those that pair, and I'm not saying for everyone that that purple and green, you know, eyeglass frames would be it for you. But I think it's paying attention to what is your joy, and what makes you feel alive. And that those are tremendous clues into a path lead of wellness and joy. And so, and then the other piece that I would just say that I remember is one of my first couple steps was a paper calendar. I don't, you know, I still keep a paper calendar when I'm scheduling my clients, but I just always have, I just love that. And so at the time, though, a number of years ago, now, I remember, I went from just keeping up what I thought was a professional looking calendar that was just black on the cover, and you know, just had the years, you know, and I thought, well, that's what I scheduled my clients with. That's what they see, I look like a real professional. And I remember looking at something called a Mary Engelbreit calendar, which is an artist who's just colorful and whimsical and affirming, and just really, really sweet characters and these little vignettes. And so the calendar was full of her stuff. And so I thought, oh, that won't look very professional, but I really want it My heart feels led to it. And I said, I'm just going to do it. And so I began a snowball, that's really become what I would call my beautiful life.
Arwen Bardsley:I love that. And a few things came out of what you've just said, for me, it's first of all, replacing your uterus with creativity, again, coming back to the chakras. And this really was not my intention with this conversation. But you know, that is that Sacral Chakra, I like to call it the creation energy, it is our you know where our creativity comes from? I mean, obviously, we, you know, we have that innate ability to create new life in that place. But that is where it comes from. So, yeah, so, so beautiful.
Rachel Awes:I love that you're tying that together.
Arwen Bardsley:Yeah. So, first of all, why do you think that it's so hard for so many people in our culture in our society now to, you know, allow themselves or to be able to tap into that place of joy? And really make sure and, and the other bit is if they do that we don't prioritize it. What What are your thoughts, especially as a psychologist around that?
Rachel Awes:Yeah. I think that just even as you asked the questio, Arwen, my heart aches a little bit, because I think that it is a matter of the heart, and the heart chakra. And, and what I'm thinking about is multi fold, is that for a lot of people, that's going to mean listening, taking the time to slow down and pay attention. And notice what sensations come forward when they make a certain selection. Because to decide to hear, if something brings me joy, I have to be in dialogue with myself, don't I? I have to actually let myself get quiet enough to notice. Because joy can feel like a range, you know, can be very subtle, or it can be as all out is giggling or laughing hard, you know? But the subtle can be a quickened heartbeat, right? Or just a little whoosh, you feel a little sensation in the body. It can feel really also gentle, but it's joy nonetheless. And you have to be connected to your body and listening to do that. And for some people, it's not altogether emotionally safe to be connected to their body because of trauma. Oh, or, and so it's a way of, they're protecting themselves, right. Or, for some people, it's hard to take themselves seriously of what's going on inside them, because they grew up with either parents, or siblings, or friends or peers, who discouraged them, or made fun of them, or treated them like they were invisible, right, all kinds of possibilities. And all of these possibilities don't have to be a dramatic picture. It can be subtle, it can be a few words spoken at certain key times that were really important that stayed with them. And so they learn to sort of either hide, or to not want to stand out, or not pronounce or share joy. Like one of the ways I share joy is in my colorful clothing. I hardly think about it anymore. But I stopped quite a bit saying, Excuse me, what is that, you know, bla bla bla, or, or comment on? Oh, my gosh, you know, you're, what you're wearing. And so you do become visible, whether it's in your clothes, or it's in the light you're you are giving out if you're living out some joy. And I think a deeper question is, do you do want to be seen? And what will that mean for you? And if for some reason you it's hard to listen to yourself, or you don't quite want to be seen, then what's going to help you to feel safer? Because then it's an issue of this sort of a deeper issue of the heart, and really caring for those tender places.
Arwen Bardsley:Yeah, thank you for that. I have recently brought art back into my life as well. And I was just thinking, as you were saying that, that I noticed this week when I was just quietly doing some painting stuff. And I just thought, wow, I just feel so calm, so relaxed. It was like, you know, this real knowledge that I need to do this more to have, you know, that that just that it was joy, but it was a very quiet joy, like you said, you know, it doesn't have to be, you know, giggling madly it was just like a, you know, I'm just so in my flow doing this.
Rachel Awes:That's right. Isn't that something how creativity which can take so many forms, including cooking, and baking, I mean, right, so many forms? Is such can be such medicine and such a portal to our hearts to our joy to regulating our bodies and calming down and, and a vehicle to ourselves?
Arwen Bardsley:Yeah, and I think that's a really important point that yeah, it doesn't mean that everybody needs to get out the paints or the colored pencils, or whatever it might be you get into the kitchen, or you get into the garden, or you put on some music and dance or whatever it is. But yeah, we are innately creative our cells are creating every day is one of my teachers says, or, you know, every minute or hour or whatever it is, it's you know, we are creative.
Rachel Awes:Yes, exactly.
Arwen Bardsley:Have you looked into anything about the psychology of color?
Rachel Awes:Oh, I have and it's not all fresh on my mind. But I did do a brief talk on that one. And it was fascinating, leading up to the talk to do some research on different colors and their effects. Right. And so the ways you just to give a little sampling of things that I remember because some of the things certainly stay with me but even things like drinking out drinking, like let's say hot chocolate out of an orange mug will psychologically make the chocolate taste better to you. Isn't that interesting? Or the colors green which makes sense because of green being in so much nature tends to help us to feel more tranquility and calm. You know, the color. Red tends to jump out at us so and energize us. So sometimes you see that in a gym or workout facility. You know, I could keep going but there's just these different qualities about color that absolutely have effects on us.
Arwen Bardsley:Yeah. And it's and again, it's about paying attention. And because we'll all be potentially a bit different with that, you know, paying it being quiet and still enough that you can go, you know, what, what am I feeling about this color? And, you know, and I think we do get to this point, you know, probably in some point in middle age where you just like now I just feel like, No, I just want to have things that I really like, around me and on me. And you know, and a lot of that is color. I'm not that colorful today. But yeah, I think, you know, it's it all comes back to that listening to yourself, doesn't it?
Rachel Awes:It sure does. It's interesting, Arwen, because I was just thinking that I'm wearing a lot of orange today. And orange happens to be a polarizing color. Some people hate it, and some people love it. And there's not a lot of people in between. It's like black licorice, you know, with reactions to it, I'm just realizing I'm wearing a polarizing color. So some people looking at me will be like, ah, and then you know, it's just, it's, that's the deal. But and blue, by far is people's most favorite color. So if you know, if you're just wanting to have a neutral, positive effect, you know, it's fascinating to think about these things.
Arwen Bardsley:Yeah. And I think blue is quite calming as well, isn't it? Because there's also there's the green with, you know, like the forest effect. And there's the blue with the water effect, I think, naturally calming to us as well. Yeah. So please tell us about your book, good relationship books. So, you know, obviously, I'd love you to give us some little snippets from it, or whatever you want to do to, for people to be able to take away some great tips from this conversation as well.
Rachel Awes:Oh, that would be so great. Well, here is just for those of you who are watching
Arwen Bardsley:Gorgeously colourful!
Rachel Awes:Yeah, see, oh, thankyou. And so the relationship book I wrote during the pandemic, for those couple of years, I was so struck in my conversations with people about what we already knew, but was so accentuated about how near and dear to us, our connections are an an integral to our well being, and, and how much for some people, you know, some more than others, but in isolation that began to take place, especially among some single people I knew who were able to work from home on their computers, while of course, was so great, they could work from their computer and still work. But being so isolated, and I know for some of those people they got, they got pets, you know, a new cat, a new dog, whereas they didn't have that before the pandemic, but having connection and relationship, even if it's to an animal was life changing. And so it just really was pressed on my heart Arwen to speak about an honour relationships, and to be more intentional about them. And so in this book, I have nine chapters. Three of them are devoted to our relationships with people, which of course as human beings, but those people chapters have different themes. So like when we have tension in our relationships with people, that's one chapter. And you know, and then but just other themes, right embrace like the lovey stuff and, but the other chapters in the book are a variety of relationships, starting with our relationship with ourselves, right, caring for that. And then relationship with food, with clothing, with animals, with community with divinity. So it ranges and the last thing I'll say about the structure of the book, is each page spread, has an anonymous client quote from my psychology practice that took my breath away in some way that they've approved for me to have in here. And then I accompany that with my written reflection, that's a little bit prose like, and then my colorful illustration. And so I just My intention is to equip the reader with feeling really cared for and supported in them. being really intentional about caring for their relationship with themselves, and in turn with others. And also equipping the reader with maybe some outside of the box, new skills or ideas of things to try. That might really empower them. Lift them up, create more intimacy with themselves with their relationships with others, maybe even give them some new thoughts about their relationship with their clothes and other ways. So that's some of what it's about. But I would love to read a couple captions from them.
Arwen Bardsley:I would love you to do that.
Rachel Awes:Okay. All right, one of the page spreads. And I tell you, I'm like a kindergarten teacher with showing a page real quick. So here's one page. This is the purple guy who you're seeing there.
Arwen Bardsley:And can you perhaps describe that for people who are listening?
Rachel Awes:Yes. So it's a little guy, he looks kind of anxious. And I call him the Purple Guy and have a purple face, purple hair purple outfit, you know, he's sitting down with his hands together, like kind of nervous. And this is from the first chapter relationship with myself. The anonymous client quote, I've named the nervous part of myself, the purple guy, and I'm working on hearing him and being good to him. My reflection, I opened my cape, and a cast of characters flocks forward. Each Emmy awarded in deep heart applauded, there's the purple guy who's always nervous, Gladys, who always feels she must put on a glad face, and candy, who invariably asks for more candy. There are many others with hands waving excitedly in the air, waiting for their day to be chosen, named and brought into the fold. These are the parts of me who I laugh with, and lounge with, cry with and hold, rest with and wrestle with, reconcile with and release, and do it all over again, seeing them outside of me, gives me a new way to introduce myself to myself, I then seem to show up with better manners, treating myself with more care. At the close of the day, I tuck them in and whisper sweet dreams, and tell them I'll see them again in the morning. So that is, that's an example of loving up the reader, right, all the parts of them inside, and maybe giving them a new or different way of approaching themselves like, Oh, what are some of the parts of me? How can I love up those the whole lot, you know, not have to say I'm scared, I need to swallow that part of me or hide it or compartmentalize that or, or say negative things to that part of me to, no, all my parts or parts to love?
Arwen Bardsley:So how do you do that? How do you start trying to love the purple guy?
Rachel Awes:Yeah, I think I think it starts with awareness. I think it starts with even knowing that's an option. It's kind of a sense of, oh, my gosh, when I feel anxious about something, I instead of saying to myself, well, that was stupid, or I am such a chicken, whatever. I have an option that I wasn't aware of before, of holding compassion for that part of me. And I'm doing the best I can. And it reminds me to say that to myself, that there's another part of me, who's observing it. There's a part of me observing the purple guy. I can't say there's a nervous part of me without observing it, right. And so the fact that I have an Observer Self says something about there's also a part of me, the Observer Self, who can be quite compassionate, and quite observant, and quite whole. So I would say, it just even begins with that awareness and trying out this language, and letting yourself be wildly imperfect at it.
Arwen Bardsley:Yeah. Do you think the Observer Self is the same as the judging self? Or are they two different selves,
Rachel Awes:very different. So I want to say the Observer Self is really more the wise self. The Observer Self, is the wise, compassionate self, who's watching all of this, and that might watch the judgment, you know, or the judge. You know, what does that Judge look like inside and why does that Judge need to be there? Because from the observer compassionate, wise self? All the parts are there for a reason trying to take care of you. Defend you Look out for you. Sometimes the judging self, I think is also scared.
Arwen Bardsley:Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
Rachel Awes:So. So that that is an example of trying to give the reader some thoughts. Another page just spread, which I won't read the whole thing right now in the relationship with myself chapter has to do with when feeling more depressed, to give yourself while Well, let me say this say when we're depressed if basic self care practices don't seem to be moving the needle on the depression, to really consider and brainstorm a list of wild and beautiful experiences to give yourself, like, going out hot air balloon if you can, and watch the sunset, go to a friend's door and sing to her. You know, say a prayer to an elephant. You know, I could keep brainstorming but have a hole at the top of a piece of paper. Put on there write down wild and beautiful experiences, and just brainstorm a list. What would be things you could give yourself that would feel like that. So that's another example of equipping the reader in the listener and encouraging you. And I some of these pages get a little bit like most of the pages don't rhyme in my reflections but a few do. And I'd love to read a lovey dovey one that is a little rhythmy, just to sort of shift it up a little bit. And how about that. This is from a chapter. relationship with humans embrace, right, so this is the more here we are the Lovey Dovey, and I'll describe it to but for people who can see there is Thank you. So it is an illustration of a woman. And she's kind of hugging yourself. And it's more black and white. And on one side of her outfit and hair is sort of white background with black polka dots. And the other half of her is black background with white polka dots. And the anonymous client quote is, I was told my husband and I had multiple lives together. And in one life, we were the same person. Here's my reflection. My DNA is spiraled into yours. And yours is spiraled into mine. An inherited color coded cellular design. Our paths are interwoven and our stories intertwined. For where I find your heartbeat. I most certainly find mine. We are two lights, and yet somehow are one as we walk through this world. You the moon, me the sun.
Arwen Bardsley:I love that. It's gorgeous.
Rachel Awes:Thank you.
Arwen Bardsley:So I did want to ask you as well about the fact that your books and this is the fourth is that right? And are they all illustrated I just wanted to ask about that.
Rachel Awes:Yes. THey're all colorful.
Arwen Bardsley:It's pretty unusual, isn't it for a self help book other than having graphs or, you know, scientific diagrams?
Rachel Awes:And For adults? And so, you know, I've got to just tell you what, at some point when I was in grade school, I distinctly remember picture books, changing to chapter books. And the chapter books seem to lose all their colorful pictures. And I was seriously bummed out. I grieved that I didn't mind the stories becoming more intricate, and I loved them. But I was really sad to lose the pictures. This is what I mean about the child in me has informed my adult life and my becoming. And so I thought, at some point in my adult life, I am putting colorful books back into the world for adults. Yes,
Arwen Bardsley:yeah. And so what are the other three books? Are they things you'd like to mention as well?
Rachel Awes:Sure, sure. My first book is called All I did was listen. And it is a book about our transformation. And it has, it's the only other book like the relationship book that has that same format of anonymous client quotes with my reflection and my drawings. But that book is specifically about transformation starting from our, all of our messiness inside, kind of the way we wake from Dreams with our wrinkled pajamas, and our messy hair, and our real stories, our dreamy place where we don't censor our stories, leading all the way up to I am, who I am, who I am just really embracing who we are. And so it's really a tale of that. And that's why it's called All I did was listen, because it was just really, it's about listening to ourselves, it was me, listening to the amazing things that I would hear transforming, and my clients that I realized, this is all of our stories. So that was my first. My second is just a short book called diving in that for people especially who love water and swimming. It's a niche book for them. So it's about going for a swim. But it's a metaphor about this invitation to dive in to the water, that when we stand on the edge of the water and look in. While that can be lovely in all the gold nuggets, all the living all the aliveness is when we swim, that's where all the whales are, we encounter the relationships, you know, things come alive. And so it's this invitation to dive into the water to your life. So that's that. And then the third one is called the Great Green okayness A Field Guide to seeing your uncommon magnificence. And so that book gives the reader all these different ways to think about their magnificence and their worth. And also outside of the sort of box ways of thinking about that. Just for quick example, like, you know, that our superpowers are more about when when I don't know if you've experienced being called Weird, at any point in your life or odd, or like that was weird, or that and sometimes that can feel shaming. But what I am saying is that those are the clues to our magnificence. That's the twist on it. Is that? Oh my gosh, when someone says, Well, that was kind of weird. I think oh, oh, that's right. I may have scared them a little bit. But it has something to do with being like very uniquely me. So for me one of my quote weird things, but not weird. It's not really weird. It's magnificent. is I will I love to lean into people and tell them all the beautiful stuff. I see that in them. And sometimes people can be uncomfortable with that. And I don't mean I don't have boundaries with that, of course I do. But growing up finding my way with that and articulating it, you know, that was a journey. And so that that is absolutely how I'm built and how I'm meant to proceed in this life. So I just say lean into whatever the weird thing is, or the other thing Arwen is sometimes in my conversations, people will start by saying, Okay, I'm going to tell you something that's kind of silly, or it's kind of corny, or it's kind of weird. And I always blurt out now, because I'm 100% confident I say, okay, just so you know, whatever you're about to tell me is going to be the best thing. I just know it. And it always is. Yeah, so that is just an example. And this is me, like going on and on just in conversational in a conversational way. But that's like one of the pages in the Great Green okayness where I say it more succinctly. But it's a clue to your magnificence.
Arwen Bardsley:I love that. Thank you. So just back to the illustrating Do you like was that something? I'm sure it was that you felt like for yourself? You just had to, to illustrate these books what you were writing. But what do you also think that the your readers get from that?
Rachel Awes:Oh, well, I think I hope they first of all get joy. And that it also unconsciously or consciously or both brings to the table their own inner child. It brings more of them to the table. And also I think that it can invite a sense of playfulness in something that's light and delightful in the mix of the depth of what I'm talking about in the pages. So it's kind of it allows the deeper messages to be digested well. Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like being given like a sweet hug from I don't I don't know. all like, I feel like in a sweet way, it's not really sneaky, but like, I sneak in the deep things. I'm planting seeds of people's, like, super special deep worth, and just some deep things, but I'm accompanying them. Oh, maybe some of it is I'm also giving them good company as they do it, because a lot of the pictures are of these figures. Yep. And so maybe that's some of it and giving them companions. Yeah. To be with them as they think about these things.
Arwen Bardsley:Yeah. And it just I guess, it's a different way for the brain to see the information as well. Because, you know, we, we certainly, you know, we started off reading things that were pictorial so, you know, it's, it's an innate way for our, you know, probably out the oldest parts of our brains to get information and process it as well, isn't it?
Rachel Awes:Oh, my gosh, that's a super smart. Thought. That is super true. We know it's true. Oh, yes. Arwen. Yeah,
Arwen Bardsley:we answered the question together.
Rachel Awes:Yes, we did go team.
Arwen Bardsley:Okay, I've got to ask you, what an what an art playgroundist is like what's, you know, why don't why don't they just call yourself an artist.
Rachel Awes:Right. Right, which I do identify with, of course, I made up the term. And you know what, there's going to be a theme throughout this whole conversation of a child. So making art for me feels like I'm on the playground again. Like it's recess. And I'm free. And I'm running the field with my friends, the wind is in my hair. I may be, you know, having fun on the swings. But there is a real freedom and a connectiveness. For me, when I make art. That's the similar sensation to that.
Arwen Bardsley:Yeah. Beautiful. I love that. And that's a great thing for for anybody to tap into as well. You know, I think, especially as adults, when we go back to creating visual art, especially, and I'm sure it's the same with any other art form that you you've really got to be aware of that perfectionist part. Yeah, you know, that's like, oh, no, oh, that's rubbish. You know, like one of the things I did the other day I, it didn't turn out like I thought it was going to but then I was like, actually, I really like it and I've put it up on my wall. So you know, it's just that an end, if you go to an art gallery, there are things that you look at, and you just think more why is that defined as art that's, you know, good enough to be on a on a, you know, the wall of the National Gallery. And it's just about that, that element of play. You're so right.
Rachel Awes:Yes, absolutely. Oh, my goodness. And yeah.
Arwen Bardsley:And I know you do a lot of stuff with clothing as well, you obviously wear a amazingly gorgeous items of clothing, even if orange is not my favorite color in the world. But you know, I suppose just tell us a bit about that as well. I think you call yourself a clothing ambassador. Tell us about that part of your life as well.
Rachel Awes:Yes, it's very related to everything else that we're talking about in that as I was drawing, and have been drawing my figures in my books in an individual art prints of primarily women, but sometimes animals and purple guy, you know, sometimes, you know, I've got a couple of different guys in this latest book. When I've been doing that, over these years, it started to affect my clothing choices. And I started dressing like how I was drawing, how I was dressing my figures on paper, I started overtime to dress me. And then the more I would start to dress me in different ways that started to affect how I drew my figures, right. So I have this art print that I wrote words on that says, I make art and art makes me that it's very, there is something magical and very real. That is CO created there. And so that that was happening and I knew that as a little girl as well. You know I remember some of my clothes that I loved And so there's a free to be you and me and how I dress. And there's a freedom also of not worrying what other people will think of it. And in fact, I think that the way I dress blesses people, because I'm being myself and authentic. And in fact, a lot of my clients will sometimes say to me, Rachel, your outfits are also therapeutic for me, because you are modeling being yourself and free. And also, sometimes the colors are also making me simply happy. And sometimes I just look forward to what will she wear next? So I do get that feedback. And so what also happened is that I think it was in 2016. I had a family trip, which was delightful with, you know, my sons and my husband to New York. And a couple of different people said to me, Rachel, when you're in New York, you have got to check out the Swedish based store in Soho called Gudrun Sjoden, you are going to just die. You're going to love her clothing, right? So hot tip G-U-D-R-U-N at last name S-J-O-D-E-N at 50 Greene Street in Green has an E at the end. Ah, I love her clothes. I'm wearing them right now. You know, so it's Yeah,
Arwen Bardsley:I love that jacket it's gorgeous.
Rachel Awes:And this dress too. But it's she one of the things I love is she like will put out a jacket, but she will have it in three different colorways. So this will also come in like a black and a white and then some other color scheme, you know, so she gives options. But what happened is we got to our Airbnb. And this is a happy coincidence or whatever you want to call it. But it turns out the store was six blocks away from where we were staying in New York's a huge place. And I said to my family, I said, Oh my gosh, as soon as we got in there, I said, I have got to go there first. And so I it was the one store I spent the most time in like two or three hours. I just walked in, I exclaimed loudly. This is my favorite clothing store ever. It looked like all the girls I've been trying to paint alive, like it was my clothing I've been drawing and and the manager came running across the store and said I heard you. And by the time I left the store, and I was standing in a circle on the floor in the store with all the staff and I was crying because I loved them so much. And like one of the the store people working. They didn't have something left in my size. But she was wearing it. It was my size. She said Rachel, I want to give it to you. And she took it off her back and handed it to me. This is my gift to you. Wow. By the time I left New York, they asked me to be an ambassador for that store Am I still am and you know, it's just a tremendous delight. And it's talk about playground is like it is so fun to wear the clothes, and I'm so genuine about loving them. And it's part of my creative expression. Oftentimes putting an outfit together is about joy. For me. It is about circling back to earlier in our conversation. It's about listening to my heart. It's about taking my choice seriously. It's about treating myself well. It also like it's about putting on clothes that feel comfortable. I don't like things tight on my tummy. I like things soft. You know, it's about noticing all those things and honoring myself and honoring my beautiful relationship with myself because I love me. And I get to, I get to and we get to. But it's a process. And it's a process every day with what food I give myself. And how how I treat myself. Yeah, yeah. And so it's all those things. And I've also begun working with another clothing designer, Magnolia pearl that I love to that's newer. So those, that's what that portion of life is that all the different segments speak to each other. The clothing speaks to the books, it's like, in speaks to my therapy clients, like they're all friends, but it's about integrating me. It's about paying attention to all my parts. It's about I get to really show up, but it's happened in little steps over the years. It's you know, when I think about anyone who might wonder how in the world do I do that? You do it with one decision at A time you do it with what socks? Do I feel like wearing today? Do I do I want to wear two different socks? to I want to in saying you do it by saying who's a friend who treats me well, who I might like to reach out to? You know, you do it with saying? Well, I always take that boring walk. But where's the place? I can take myself that would be a lovely walk for me? And so on.
Arwen Bardsley:That's great, because I was just going to say to you what is the first step that someone can take? And you've already answered that question?
Rachel Awes:Yes, we're in sync.
Arwen Bardsley:I love that. About that store. I'm definitely going there. Because I'm sure I will love it as well.
Rachel Awes:Oh, my goodness, that is so great. Well, if you do mention my name, some of the staff will know me. That is exactly where it will be December 3 For anyone who happens to be in New York, December 3, I will be at that store for a book signing all afternoon. And then also for people in New York that day, who come to my signing they will get 10% off all their clothing they buy in the store that day.
Arwen Bardsley:Okay. Yeah. So what part of New York is it?
Rachel Awes:It's in SoHo. Which is such a fun area anyway. Right?
Arwen Bardsley:Oh, how fabulous. And do you know the brand Desigual?
Rachel Awes:Yes. I love that. Yeah. I love that as well. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my goodness.
Arwen Bardsley:Yeah. Yeah, we'll just kind of similar ish kind of stuff, isn't it? Yeah. What you're wearing anyway. Um, so tell us where people can get your book? And is there anything other than what you've just mentioned? About a third of December in New York? Is there anything else you want to tell people about?
Rachel Awes:I think that's it. I think that also go be refreshments in the store. But again, it's at 50 Greene Street, G-R-E-E-N-E in New York. And I love to see you there. That's it. Like, that's, that would be so fun. So in terms of finding my book, now, it's available for preorder. And the books will be going out very, very soon. And you can if you're someone who doesn't like links that you just prefer to Google things, like just put some keywords in the Google, it would just be Rachel Awes. And its last name is like the first part of awesome, so it's A-W-E
Arwen Bardsley:So appropriate!
Rachel Awes:Oh, thank you. But I say it as like a memory thing. Yeah. So Rachel, you could Google Rachel Awes, or Rachel's or Rachel Awes, Etsy - E- T-S-Y. If you've ever heard of an Etsy shop, there's a million of them of art stores online. But if you
Arwen Bardsley:Okay, so you just Rachel Awes on everything just Google Rachael Awes Etsy, that will get you to my online shop, where I have all my books and art prints. But also, if you just want to put in a link and say Rachel Awes.com at the top, that's my website. And at the top of the banner, you'll find, you know, you can click on shop up there, you can click on my counseling resources or, you know, numerous things. And, and you can also just Google Rachel Awes Instagram, Rachel Awes Facebook, any of those kinds of things, too. that makes it easy! And will the book be in physical book shops as well?
Rachel Awes:Yes. So just now, it's just beginning, right? It's just beginning to establish all the places but it will be. It will be in places just within the United States at this point, unless something else picks it up. Right. So you, if you're outside the United States, I can ship it to you. Yeah, if you buy something online from me, but not in bookstores outside of the US. Sorry, hey, I love Australia and the whole wide world.
Arwen Bardsley:Yeah. Well, you never know who might be I do. Yeah. Pandemic has really, you know, burst open the listening and who might stock it in Australia. And there's something else I was gonna ask you. Oh, it's gone out of my head now. Oh, yes. That's what it was. Was Do you work online with psychology clients as well? possibilities. And now it's like part of the norm. Yep. Yep. So anybody in the world could connect with you for that if they wanted to. Yeah, great. All right. Well, I have had such a fun time talking with you Rachel, it's been fabulous.
Rachel Awes:Yes indeed for me too. Thank you so much for being here with me.
Arwen Bardsley:You're most welcome. And I'm sad that I'm missing you in New York by three days, but nevermind.
Rachel Awes:Can You believe it?
Arwen Bardsley:Well, it wasn't meant to be this time but maybe maybe in the future. So, thank you so much for sharing all your wisdom and your color and your joy with us today. Rachel, it was wonderful to have you as a guest.
Rachel Awes:Okay. It was wonderful to be had